


The truth is this

by swallowthewhale



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: 30 days of killervibe, Drabble Collection, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:54:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 3,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24890398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swallowthewhale/pseuds/swallowthewhale
Summary: 30 drabbles for the 30 Days of Killervibe Challenge
Relationships: Cisco Ramon & Caitlin Snow, Cisco Ramon/Caitlin Snow
Comments: 72
Kudos: 16





	1. without you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 1: Favorite Character

Caitlin has considered her life without Cisco three times before.

She’d left Star Labs after the particle accelerator explosion, and found that a life without Cisco was quiet and lonely.

She’d left Star Labs after losing Ronnie for the second time, and found that a life without Cisco was dull and devoid of laughter.

She’d left Star Labs after Killer Frost, and found that a life without Cisco was harsh and unfriendly.

This is the first time she’s watched him walk away from her. Now the life in front of her feels heartless, because he’s taking her heart with him.


	2. no you can't come with me, stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 2: Favorite Episode

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 306 Shade

“I need to know if I become evil, because if I do, I have to leave and never come back.”

Caitlin’s words ring through Cisco’s mind as he vibes himself fighting Killer Frost, as he hugs Caitlin tight and vows never to tell her, as Caitlin asks him to be honest about the vibe. 

He knows, no matter how he chooses, he’ll lose her. 

It settles heavy into the pit of his stomach like a brick, strangles his lungs, prickles at the back of his mind.

He knows, even as he promises never to let it happen, she’s already gone.


	3. I pretend you’re mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 3: Favorite Season

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Season 3

“She’s my best friend.” 

But even as he says it, he knows it’s a lie. 

The skepticism on Julian’s face says he knows too.

Caitlin is his friend. His _best_ friend. The things they’d been through together - the particle accelerator explosion, Ronnie dying twice, the Reverse Flash, Cisco’s powers, time travel, and disaster after disaster, and so much loss - this can't be the thing that broke them. Cisco won’t let it. Caitlin’s not gone, just buried, and Cisco’s going to get her back.

“And I’d rather it be me than her.”

Caitlin’s not his best friend. She’s so much more.


	4. do it for me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 4: Favorite Storyline

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ 506 The Icicle Cometh ](https://swallowthewhale.tumblr.com/post/180361856888/itberice-he-just-cares-about-you)

It’s not that Cisco isn’t happy for her. Caitlin’s dad is alive, after all this time, and she gets to see him again. Cisco would do anything for a second chance like this with Dante, so he tries to be supportive.

It’s just that there are so many things that don’t make sense, and even with his powers on the fritz, the sinking feeling that something’s about to go wrong never fades.

“You’re my friend, my family,” he tells Caitlin, and it’s the truth.

Which means he will fight to the bitter end for Caitlin’s happy ending with her dad.


	5. all, then most, now none of you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 5: Favorite Parallels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ 322 Infantino Street/323 Finish Line ](https://swallowthewhale.tumblr.com/post/181391547333/dailycisco-all-these-months-you-were-trying-to)

“Go save Caitlin. I’ll save Iris.”

Killer Frost offers her hand and Cisco takes it. She helps him to his feet and Cisco could cry, seeing Caitlin’s eyes for the first time in weeks. They turn to watch Iris save Barry

“All these months, you were trying to save me from him. Look at that, I saved you.”

It echoes in Caitlin’s heart, but she can’t say it. Killer Frost is still warring in her head, straining away from the family Caitlin is tied so tightly to. They’re not Frost’s family. Anyway, Cisco is walking away.

She lets him go.


	6. he doesn’t know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 6: Favorite Cisco Wardrobe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Westallen wedding, Crisis on Earth X](https://swallowthewhale.tumblr.com/post/167707845218/dailycisco-cisco-in-the-sizzle-for-crisis-on)

Caitlin’s heart leaps into her throat when she meets Cisco at the end of the aisle. Her eyes wander appreciatively from the pretty yellow flower in his lapel down the rest of his suit. His eyes are bright when they meet hers.

He kisses her cheek. “You look beautiful.”

The words to reciprocate stick in her throat, so she just tucks her hand in his elbow and squeezes. 

In another lifetime, or in a dream, they’re walking down the aisle for a different wedding. Caitlin had never had her big wedding with Ronnie.

She won’t have it with Cisco either.


	7. she doesn’t know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 7: Favorite Caitlin Wardrobe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Green romper, 402 Mixed Signals](https://swallowthewhale.tumblr.com/post/167358034990)

There’s a heat wave in Central City, and Cisco has been battling with the AC in Star Labs all morning.

He can hear Caitlin walk up behind him, but doesn’t turn until she taps his shoulder with the iced coffee she brought.

The thanks die on his lips as he turns to look up at her. She’s wearing an olive green romper she hasn’t worn in years, which make her legs go on for miles, and her hair is pulled off her neck in a curly ponytail. Cisco’s mouth goes dry.

There’s a teasing glint in Caitlin’s eye. “Need help?”


	8. like before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 8: Favorite Cisco Quote to Caitlin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [231 Cause and Effect](https://swallowthewhale.tumblr.com/post/162242053193/kendrasaunders-killervibe-week-2017-day-1)

“I think about all the memories I cherish most, and… you’re in every single one of them, Caitlin.”

He could remind her about ice cream and coffee dates, movie nights and quiet nights in the lab, Caitlin’s wedding, every holiday for the past three years, and all the  other days  in between.

He could remind her about all the terrible times that he never would have gotten through without her. The particle accelerator explosion, or the Reverse Flash, or getting his powers. Dante’s death. 

He doesn’t say it. She already knows. He just has to wait for her to remember.


	9. whenever you’re ready

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 9: Favorite Caitlin Quote to Cisco

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “That wasn’t Vibe, that was Cisco. And that’s the guy I need.” [505 All Doll'd Up](https://swallowthewhale.tumblr.com/post/180121056088)

Sometimes Caitlin worries that she’s understating it. Everyone else knows, how has Cisco missed all the signs? Caitlin has said it in every way she can think of without actually saying it.

_This is home._

_I want to be with you._

_Your game is so strong._

_That’s the guy I need._

Every hug, and touch, and look.

It’s too soon, though. He’s still hurting over Cynthia, and Caitlin knows what that’s like. She can be patient, she’s been waiting two years anyway. A little while longer won’t hurt. And when the time is right, she’ll tell him.

~~ _I love you._ ~~


	10. you're not alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 10: Favorite Hug

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [109 Man in the Yellow Suit](https://swallowthewhale.tumblr.com/post/175354792870/dailycisco-cisco-caitlin-hugging-in-the)

It shouldn’t help so much, to let Cisco wrap his arms around her and lean into his chest and pour her pain out onto her cheeks and his shirt. It shouldn’t help to feel his hand brush through her hair or feel his cheek on her head. It shouldn’t help to just sit here with him, in the place Ronnie died, and let their best friend hold her the way Ronnie used to. It shouldn’t help to curl her hands into his jacket, sit there in silence with him and wonder what he’s thinking.

It shouldn’t help.

But it does.


	11. darling, do you mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 11: Favorite Affectionate Touch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [507 O Come, All Ye Thankful](https://swallowthewhale.tumblr.com/post/188291003863/purple-and-red-ribbons-danielle-panabaker)

It’s obvious, the way they fit into each other. Cisco’s arm around her shoulders is natural as breathing, and it’s escaped no one’s notice that if you can’t find Caitlin, ask Cisco, or if Cisco’s in a bad mood, send Caitlin. Caitlin leans into him so easily that it’s unconscious. It’s not that Caitlin is unaffectionate, but she keeps herself apart, just out of reach. Caitlin’s touch requires purpose, as a doctor or a teammate, but rarely for just the contact itself.

No one dares move into her space too casually. Cisco is always the exception, and everyone knows why.


	12. can we surrender

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 12: Favorite Gazing Into Each Other’s Eyes Moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [401 The Flash Reborn](https://swallowthewhale.tumblr.com/post/168337002154)

Caitlin’s out of practice. Just a couple months away and she’s already forgotten how easy it is to lose herself in Cisco’s dark, fond gaze. He looks at her and all these months of “finding herself” are for naught, because she’s always been able to find herself with him. 

“Have I mentioned how much I miss having you around?”

Caitlin turns away and that breaks the spell. He pulls away and she lets him

Later, he looks up at her like she’s about to disappear and tells her he missed his friend. Caitlin knows he’s not just talking about Barry.


	13. you’ll always say her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 13: Favorite Heart-Warming Moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Accept that she isn’t the love of your life because if she were, she’d still be in it.” [502 Blocked](https://swallowthewhale.tumblr.com/post/187677346680/thatkillervibe-killervibe-blocked)

Cisco hasn’t missed the way Caitlin’s been looking at him all day.

She’s worried that he’ll sink into depression like after Dante’s death, that he’s pulling away from her, that he won’t let her in.

Maybe she’s right to worry, because he doesn’t want to let her in. He doesn’t want the pity or the understanding or the way she looks away when he talks about the love of his life.

He doesn’t want her to see that he’d never truly thought Cynthia was the love of his life. He doesn’t want her to see that it was always her.


	14. nothing more to say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 14: Favorite Hurt/Comfort Moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [309 The Present](https://swallowthewhale.tumblr.com/post/154773146429/stydiaislove-thank-you-for-taking-me-off-the)

These are the things that ground him to reality. 

Caitlin’s voice, her hands on his shoulders, the steadiness of her heart. It’s Caitlin’s fear of losing Cisco that closes the box.

The vision of Dante vanishes and it’s almost like losing him again.

They stand like that for a while, Cisco’s hands on the box and Caitlin’s hands on his shoulders. Eventually, Cisco can take his hands off the box, can turn away from fantasy and towards reality. Towards Caitlin.

It’s knowing that Caitlin won’t let him go that helps him step away from the ledge.

He takes her hand.


	15. not again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 15: Favorite Angst Moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Predictably,  [318 Abra Kadabra](https://swallowthewhale.tumblr.com/post/175931880067)

“Stop, that’s not what she wanted,” are the hardest words Cisco has ever spoken.

They go against every instinct, every fiber of his being, every beat of his heart. 

Everything’s numb. The sharp edges of Caitlin’s necklace digging into his palm is the only thing he can feel. The world moves fuzzily around him and the high pitched tone of the heart monitor sounds like it’s coming from underwater. 

There’s no room for anything in his mind but Caitlin. 

Pain - Caitlin’s gone.

Guilt - Cisco can’t help but hope that it works.

Horror - this isn’t what she wanted.

Then cold nothing.


	16. are you ever dreaming of me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 16: Favorite Action-Packed Moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [320 I Know Who You Are](https://swallowthewhale.tumblr.com/post/163137439793/dailycisco-two-times-killer-frost-was-sure-cisco)

They say the third time’s the charm.

One. Cisco’s hands are shaking. He doesn’t want to hurt her. She says he won’t. He knows he can’t.

Two. It’s only Caitlin he can see. Smiling at him, hugging him, sticking with him through thick and thin. He freezes.

Three. So maybe he can’t separate Caitlin from Frost. Caitlin’s gone, but not dead. He just needs to draw her out. Cisco throws all his love for Caitlin into his blast. But still, seeing Caitlin still on the ground makes his stomach flip flop with guilt.

More like, the third time’s the curse.


	17. leaving things unsaid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 17: Favorite Underrated Moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “You need me?” [302 Paradox](https://swallowthewhale.tumblr.com/post/180934268657/westhallen-anon-requested-little-caitlin-x)

It’s funny how Barry had never noticed before, the way Cisco and Caitlin orbit around each other in perfect sync. Maybe seeing them in Flashpoint has made it more obvious. Now it’s all he can see. Even when Cisco can’t stand to be in the same room as Barry, he still checks in with Caitlin before leaving. Even when stuck in the middle, Caitlin’s unquestioningly on Cisco’s side. Conversations in a single glance and the unconscious habit of never standing more than three feet apart.

How had Barry never noticed that Cisco and Caitlin are in love with each other?


	18. someone like me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 18: Favorite Jealousy Moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [314 Attack on Central City](https://swallowthewhale.tumblr.com/post/158814135363/dinahdrvke-someone-like-you-caitlin)

“I promise there is a beautiful, intelligent woman out there who is going to challenge you to be the best version of yourself. In fact, she could be right around the corner.”

Maybe Caitlin had been imagining the jealousy in Cisco’s voice when he asked about Julian, or the way he looked at her when he mentioned the friend zone. Maybe she’d imagined everything, because no sooner had she said the words, than Cynthia had burst in and snapped her out of her delusions.

Maybe it was for the best, so Caitlin wouldn’t say the next thing on her mind.


	19. where you go, I go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 19: Favorite Homecoming Moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [305 Monster](https://swallowthewhale.tumblr.com/post/162018886448/briarsrosie-killervibe-week-day-1-iconic)

“This is home.”

Caitlin doesn’t really mean the pipeline, or Star Labs, or even Central City. She means these people - Iris and Barry and Joe and Wally - whose bonds have been forged through trial and choice. It’s a family stronger than the long gone shared love of science with her dad, or her mother’s cold affection, or the vanished promise of a life with Ronnie.

She means dinners at Joe’s, and movie nights, and slushies in the cortex on the weekend. She means fighting for a safer world and for each other. She means Cisco.

Here, with Cisco, is home.


	20. everybody knows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 20: Favorite Dorks Being ~~Dorks~~ Married Moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [310 Borrowing Problems From the Future](https://swallowthewhale.tumblr.com/post/156365425903/dailycisco-married)

Cisco resolutely ignores Barry’s amusement radiating from behind him. They both know Cisco will cave and fix the cuffs for Caitlin. She doesn’t even need to tilt her head and pout cutely for him to change his mind. He was never even going to refuse.

Still, Cisco shoves Barry when he teases Cisco for it in the hallway later.

“Married,” Barry mouths at him as he backs away with his hands up.

It’s all worth it when Cisco presents Caitlin with the delicate snowflake necklace and she beams at him. Cisco still ignores Barry’s knowing look from across the room.


	21. how bad I need you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 21: Favorite Matching Outfits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [313 Gorilla City](https://swallowthewhale.tumblr.com/post/157534824288)

Cisco is still in his jacket, his gauntlets on the ledge of the pipeline next to him and his knit hat twisted between his hands. Everyone else is upstairs in the cortex or home already.

In her soft soled boots, Caitlin sneaks up on him, putting a gentle hand on his elbow when he startles.

“Did you mean it?”

“Yeah.” She’s still beautiful, in her tan jacket and tousled ponytail, biting her lip as she considers him.

“Do you want to die?”

“No.”

She sighs and rests her head on his shoulder. “Good. Because I can’t do this without you.”


	22. take my whole life too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 22: Favorite Gift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Caitlin's snowflake necklace](https://swallowthewhale.tumblr.com/post/180895904903/lanadanvrs-puppies-in-love)

Caitlin’s not snooping, she’s just waiting in Cisco’s room while he showers, and it catches her eye. Tucked into the bottom corner of a framed photo on his dresser - she recognizes it from New Year’s Eve a few years ago - is the snowflake pendant he’d made for her that year.

She gently picks it up just as Cisco’s arms slide around her from behind.

Cisco’s lips brush her shoulder. “It reminds me of how close I came to losing you.”

“I’m glad you took it off, that day.”

“You didn’t want that.”

“No, but I wanted to be with you.”


	23. glitch in the universe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 23: Favorite (Canon) Alternate Universe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [301 Flashpoint](https://swallowthewhale.tumblr.com/post/151404309153)

Stringbean - the Flash - vanishes, leaving Iris beside Wally’s bedside and him with a bunch of nobodies in his lab. Still.

“Caitlin.” He jerks his head and she follows him to the hallway.

“Cisco,” she says coolly, hands on her hips.

“So you do remember me.”

“Hard to forget when the boy you knew in college turns into Central City’s richest asshole,” Caitlin says stiffly, her chin up dangerously.

Cisco huffs, reaching up to tuck his hair behind his ear, then stops short.

Caitlin raises an eyebrow. “I didn’t think you’d remember me.”

Everything in him softens. “How could I forget?”


	24. you are a universe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 24: Favorite (Non-Canon) Alternate Universe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Doctor Who](https://swallowthewhale.tumblr.com/post/169202525671/agentmarymargaretskitz-incendiaglacies-asked)

He throws open the door and steps into Caitlin’s living room with a flair. Caitlin looks up from her textbook, already dressed in a blue, bustled dress with a matching hat perched on her curls.

“Is that really what you’re wearing?” She asks wryly, marking her place in the book with a sticky note.

He stops gazing at her to look down at himself, affronted. “What’s wrong with this?”

Caitlin steps towards him and tweaks the tie around his neck before stepping past him.

“What?” He calls after her. “Bowties are cool!”

“Come on, Doctor. Let’s go meet Thomas Edison.”


	25. I’ll cover you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 25: Favorite Villain Alter-Ego

Caitlin is 95% sure her neighbor is some kind of criminal mastermind. She’s gotten a peek inside his apartment a couple times, and besides being lavishly decorated, Caitlin’s sure she spotted blueprints spread out over his coffee table.

Cisco’s a good neighbor, though. He always gives her a friendly nod when they pass in the hallway and he returns her mail when it’s delivered to the wrong box. So Caitlin doesn’t worry about it much.

Until Reverb shows up at her door past midnight with a bloody gash in his shoulder.

Cisco takes off the mask. Caitlin lets him in.


	26. hey honey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 26: Favorite Polyamory Ship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Cisco/Caitlin/Cynthia](https://swallowthewhale.tumblr.com/post/166550063113/sssssssim-thats-a-nice-sandwich)

Cynthia isn’t blind. Caitlin is pretty, and kind, and would do anything for Cisco. Cynthia can see the pull between them, doesn’t begrudge Cisco’s devotion to her, can’t hate Caitlin for being the most important person in his life.

She can see what could have been, if only the timing had been right, can feel Caitlin’s eyes on her. Cynthia considered suggesting it herself, but while Cisco wears his heart on his sleeve, Caitlin’s is hidden away. So Cynthia lets it go unsaid and it’s only in her blue washed dreams that there’s ever three instead of two plus one.


	27. a safe place to land

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 27: Favorite OTP Moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [610 Marathon](https://swallowthewhale.tumblr.com/post/611340470621224960)

It should be wrong, that even Kamilla knows it’s Caitlin who can get through to him, Caitlin who can understand. There’s something unwavering in her eyes that makes all the messy world seem clearer. He doesn’t want to look away.

Caitlin tells him to go, to find himself, and he does. She doesn’t have to ask him to come back. There’s something bothering him, though, something he can’t quite put his finger on until he’s back and hugging her and she’s telling him how much she missed him.

It clicks.

He’s been looking for himself in all the wrong places.


	28. no need to ask

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 28: Favorite Killervibe Inspired Song

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [I Got You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUWmnnt1q2s) \- Leona Lewis

It’s on the radio during their late nights at Star Labs.

It’s playing in the car as they drive with the windows down in the summer.

It’s on in the club as they dance with abandon, never caring who’s watching.

It’s sung along to a guitar, the song a little more slow and soft than they’ve heard it before.

Cisco traces one hand along the skin bared by the low back of her white dress as they sway, her hand on his heart. Caitlin tucks her face into his jaw so that she can hear him whisper,

“I got you.”


	29. ruin the friendship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 29: Scene/Episode Rewrite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [514 Cause and XS](https://swallowthewhale.tumblr.com/post/182805673168/unicornships-come-one-you-gotta-get-a-move-on)

“Cisco, wait!”

He’s already halfway down the hallway. Caitlin catches up to him, breathless.

“Don’t go. Don’t go on your date.” She reaches out as if to take his hand, but then withdraws, wrapping her arms around her waist.

Cisco knows her well enough to know what that means. “Why?”

She swallows. Her eyes are wide and watery. She takes half a step forward. “Because I don’t want you to.”

“To go on a date?”

“To go on a date with her,” Caitlin corrects.

His heart stutters. She can’t mean-

“I want you to go on a date with me.”


	30. whatever universe, my soul will find you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 30: You Choose
> 
> We're both stuck sitting outside the changing rooms while our respective friends try on clothes.

Cisco will never understand how it takes someone with super speed three hours to find the right suit.

He’s nearly worked up the courage to say something to the pretty girl three seats down from him when Barry comes out at the same time as the girl’s friend.

“Iris?”

Iris gapes back at him. “Barry Allen?!”

Cisco groans. Barry _would_ run into his childhood crush in the middle of a Macy’s. Cisco rolls his eyes at the pretty girl, but he’s grinning, and she grins back. He scoots over and offers his hand.

“Cisco.”

The girl shakes his hand. “Caitlin.”


End file.
